Panic Disorder 411

Recovery From Panic Disorder & Alcoholism


If fear is like a storm wave striking you, then a panic attack is a tsunami that batters your soul.

The Mean Reds - Text

First Scene: (Holly) The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid, and you don't know what you're afraid of. Did you ever get that feeling? (Paul) Sure. (Holly) Well, when I get it, the only thing that does any good is to jump into a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. ("Breakfast at Tiffany's")

Second Scene: He had this feeling that something horrible was about to happen. His vision got blurry, then he was consumed by a feeling of dread that came out of nowhere. His legs began to tremble & the ground felt like it was shaking, threatening to open underneath him. It wasn't an earthquake. He wasn't having a heart attack. He was having a panic attack. Waves of panic washed over him, receded and returned like the ebb and flow of angry ocean waves crashing on shore. Everywhere he went, he was paralyzed by fear.

Panic attacks are sudden, overwhelming and enigmatic.

He knew that he was being pulled through a vortex into hell. He didn't know how to fight the force that possessed him. He had to escape, but how could he escape from himself?

Panic Disorder is an illness of loneliness. It can steal your life from you. You feel completely detached from the world and everything in it.

(voice-over) If a tiger is springing from its rear haunches toward you, the fight or flight response will instantly provide you with the energy you need to either grab your rifle and shoot him or to climb a tree faster than a monkey to the safety of the high branches. During a panic attack, the same fight or flight mechanism that protects us from danger is evoked spontaneously. The flow of energy increases; the heart beats faster to pump blood to the muscles; and certain systems, like digestion, shut down to focus all of the body's energy to fight or to run. However, there's nothing to fight or any danger in the environment at all. The stimulus is not a tiger, but, rather, the spontaneous fear response itself.

You can learn how to control your reaction to panic attacks by using deep breathing, progressive relaxation, and visualization. There is hope. There's treatment. Begin your journey by talking to your family doctor or a local mental health clinic.

After the AA meeting, he thought about what Jack S. had said about turning it over to God. His chronic anxiety and drinking had paralyzed his life, but he didn't know how to turn it over to anyone. He was still shaken from the attacks in the park and on the bridge and didn't know where to turn for help.

The only therapy that he knew about was described in a book by Claire Weekes. She recommended facing the anxiety attack head on and "floating through" it, instead of trying to run from it. He couldn't imagine doing it. The thought of having another anxiety attack horrified him without thinking about floating through it, whatever that meant. It would be like facing the dragon, head on without a weapon, feeling his hot breath burning his face, with Claire Weekes telling him, "Relax, Jack. He can't hurt you. Relax."

If he could have faced his fear, then he'd still be working in Manhattan and would have had his own store somewhere, in Dallas or LA, with his wife by his side in a lovely home in the suburbs and a condo in Florida. He would have been a part of his daughter's life, who would have called him Dad and looked up to him. He couldn't bear the remorse and the guilt that he felt when he thought about Shannon. He knew that Lisa was a good mother, and that they were far better off without having to deal with his problems.

He had to find some help.

And help is what my website is all about—how I learned to live with and overcome Panic Disorder, and how I recovered from alcoholism. There are many excerpts here from my book THE ROAD TO FORT WORTH. If you decide that my personal experiences will help you on your road to recovery, then you'll find links to my book on Amazon Kindle.

THE ROAD TO FORT WORTH by Michael Jackson Smith: Very little was known about panic disorder when I had my first panic attack. There was no help available to teach me how to assuage the attacks, but I discovered that alcohol would dissolve my fear instantly. My website contains the kind of information that would have been a tremendous help to me in the early days of my illness as I searched for solutions for the panic disorder, agoraphobia, and alcoholism that incapacitated me. My book is the story of my journey into recovery.

Never give up hope. It is the guiding light of recovery.